Travelling alone

Travelling alone makes me sad. Or at least thoughtful and nostalgic. Maybe this is why I much prefer having company.
Travelling alone (by which I mean the actual train-plane-bus moving bit, not the staying-in-interesting-places-bit) always gives me this world-weary feeling of moving silently through the crowds, somehow insulated from all their holiday stress and excitement, or business focussed hurry. I'm not a holiday maker, I'm not a business traveller, I'm just a traveller, and this is how I live my life, spending too much time in the airports and bus stations of the world. Spending too much time revisiting places I've already been, countries i know too well to be excited about.
Or maybe it's just bloody england depressing me again...

This time too, though, I think it has to do with leaving places. Leaving Montreal last month, with no idea if I'll be able to return, wasn't easy. Landing directly in London, a place that always freaks me out a bit, just made it so much worse. When Telyn and I parted ways, even though it was a good thing, it felt like saying goodbye to the last piece of Montreal that I had left. And then spending time this week back in Berlin, where I used to live, I realised how similar it is to Montreal, in some ways, and that i would consider living in Berlin again, if I found better work than last time. And now I've left Berlin and the friends and acquaintances i have there, and again landed in bloody London, which is no doubt what is contributing to this depressing bit of wallowing. But at least it's only for a night, until tomorrow, when I'm back in Cold Ash, and all the memories and nostalgia and bloody hard work that will bring!
I really shouldn't travel alone, obviously! It makes me think too much!